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The triumph over both positive and negative emotions.
The triumph over both positive and negative emotions.

One of my favorite blogs is idcheaters.com. Lively conversations erupt on relationship issues with an enthusiasm rarely found anywhere else.  The input also gets my wicked little wheels turning. One of the recent topics surrounds jealousy, of course, and the associated behaviors it inspires.

For all of the love professed in relationships, and all the expectations set forth for us by society and religion, people rarely analyze why jealousy is such a huge feature of our psyche.  Is it learned, or is it instinct?

Have you ever seen Mutiny on the Bounty, the version with Marlon Brando playing the part of Mr. Christian?

The Bounty drops anchor in the harbor of a Polynesian, I assume, island where the natives see sex as a great way to say hello.  If there was ever a Garden of Eden, these natives never left it.  The people are portrayed as happy, loving, and bereft of jealousies.  Sex is the extended handshake.

Yes, it is a movie, but it also reflects what some people believe is nature’s true intent.  Genetic diversity, accomplished through sex and childbearing with different partners, is good for the species.  Doesn’t jealousy work against that mandate?

As children we must learn to share because nature drives us to cling to adults for attention.  Otherwise, we may never be fed or clothed.  It is instinct, appropriate during a time of great dependency on adults, but we eventually learn that cooperation and sharing furthers not only personal causes and goals, but also improves our relationships with others in our tribe or family.  Based on this, jealousy must be a sign of immaturity, on one level, or the expression of the powerless and dependent at another level.

Readings Surrounding Jealousy

Where Tarot readings ferret out what has yet to happen, I prefer using Numerology for individuals questioning their own motives behind their jealousies.  We are often unable to completely remove our tendencies in this area, but knowing where they are in our personal birth numbers helps us weather those storms without destroying relationships that are otherwise fulfilling and productive.  Finding areas of “numerical balance” when jealousy might rear its ugly head, has been one of my personal tools for quite some time now.

If you are struggling with jealousy issues, consider taking a look at your partner’s birth numbers as well.  His or her birth numbers may reveal the traits that trigger conflicts with the jealousy you are experiencing.


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The realization that a spouse is cheating is a terrible moment for any woman, regardless of her strength or age, and with or without young children in the home, the blow can strip the meaning from a relationship. Once the shock wears off, it is time to decide to stay, leave, or have him leave.

I came across a great clip, Should Women Stand By Cheaters?.

Notice, there is a woman on the discussion panel who is able to draw a distinction between a fellow’s looking for love and engaging in thrill seeking behavior?

One of the most difficult readings to do are those where the querent, usually the woman, cannot see the subject, usually the man, in the same light that the cards, or a numerology analysis for that matter, indicate.

Often, the cheating male hasn’t one emotional card, which would be something in the suit of cups, in the spread. When this can be worked through in the reading, meaning the querent understands that this act was not emotionally based for the cheater, moving on to the decision making process can be a bit less daunting. When I read for you, I won’t skip this step as many readers will.

Now that you have worked through the reading, should you stay?

There are many factors that I, as your reader, can see and feel during this second part of your reading. Your choices will be greater than you had thought. Let’s try to stick with those that are non-violent!

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Even with a reader’s advice, which addresses the mental and emotional aspect of your past, present, and future, only you can analyze how a drastic change in your living circumstances will impact your finances and your plans for your future with your partner.  Take your time to weigh things carefully.  A new adventure awaits you, even if you decide to continue the relationship.

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Whether it is a cheating spouse or a difficult relative, many readings center around power issues that are difficult to grapple with when they needn’t be. What makes these issues difficult? The prohibition against extended anger.

The prohibition against extended anger isn’t talked about among men nearly as much as it is among women. In fact, women, in general, seem to fear anger that lingers past a few days.

Anger will eat you up eventually.

You need to let go of your anger.

Why keep drawing in such negative energy?

These are all those little warnings that you shouldn’t continue with anger with a situation or person. Far from being a comfort, the warnings serve to prevent the exercise of personal power, to insist on changes either with a situation or within yourself, to prevent the event from happening again. In other words, to keep you within the “well socialized woman” passive stance.

Granted, there are situations where expressing anger can lead to danger, but it is the form of the expression that is the problem, not the anger itself. So why is it so important, to some, that you “let go” of a necessary tool for survival?

You are less accessible and your anger reveals some unpleasant realities about life.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing for the angry person, but is frightening to those accustomed to your being emotionally available, and this should be a red flag. The concern being expressed over your anger isn’t based on your needs at all, but theirs. You are more aware of where your limits are and are ready to insist on their being respected. Very inconvenient for those who enjoy talking you into participating in conversations and activities that are not necessarily your cup of tea.

You a step outside of a shared mentality. You become an outsider to many, which is extremely important to people afraid to make the same sorts of changes in their own lives. You don’t seem nearly as safe when you start rearranging your life, using the anger as the catalyst for positive change. Denying and letting go of your anger might be the worst thing you can do to yourself, to make others more comfortable.

Embrace your anger. Explore the feelings and take the actions you deem necessary, as long as they are not violent, against others. Recreate your inner space by incorporating this new found knowledge. Raise your standards and expectations where needed and hold your head high.

It isn’t the anger you must fear, it is the absence of change.

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If you remember, we talked about her Life Path number and how that is working for her, or not. Then we took a peek at her Birthday number, and what that can mean to her…and those who would own and use her.

Let’s look at her Expression. This number give insights into talents and abilities, or those things that are not nearly as hidden as the numbers at the Life Path and Birthday positions. This reflects her basic nature, which can explain her reactions to pressure, joy, and life changing events. Her Expression number is 9.

Britney needs a cause to feel effective and whole. Many people with the number 9 in this position are humanitarians and philanthropists. They look for the place where they can make a difference, to make someone else’s life easier or better. Could you imagine having this inside of your personality and having that ignored in favor of making money for others who don’t appear to have a need outside of a brand new car? It is this aspect of her nature that probably led her to work so hard at for her mom, or to make the family’s life better, where many children would simply refuse to cooperate with the pressure to perform at an elite level. It is her having given so much of herself that has probably led to her being at such loose ends now.

Now, I can hear the disapproval rising now….”what about her kids? They need her….”. Her children have another parent and are being used to make her conform. Bad combination as that makes them someone else’s cause, not hers alone. If she had been a single parent, things might have been different, and better. They would have become her cause as they would have only had her to depend on. Them there is the pressure to conform, which is incompatible with the need to give. You can not freely give that which is being taken or demanded. There has been nothing in her recent struggles with her children that has really allowed giving. The more that is taken, the less likely anything will be given.

Britney might fare better with less supervision, but that is no longer in the cards. To retain any sense of sanity she will have to remove herself from scrutiny. She will simply have to stop being available. This could be a dangerous time with one more push being the last straw. Remember the suicide watch? A passport and a new beginning is probably a wiser choice.

Britney’s Heart’s Desire is 11/2


Have you ever heard of Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs?

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Britney has a “Master Number”, 11. Many born with this Master Number are born into extremely troubled families. It reflects extreme sensitivity to spiritual matters like, loving relationships. Sensitivity is not mastery of the concept but is a sign that this will be the main goal throughout life.

Britney marries the high school friend in Las Vegas, and mother had that annulled. Britney married Kfed, because she was old enough that no one could build a case to dissolve the marriage. She has tried to create a loving atmosphere for herself, only to have it disintegrate after bringing children into the world. She is crushed. We are probably witnessing her attempts to dull the pain and loneliness, not party time. She was at the top of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs when Kfed, the press, and the courts started dragging her back to lower levels of the hierarchy. She cannot conform to the demands at that level, which causes more pain, which leads to her trying to kill that pain. It is like being able to see brilliant colors all of your life and then being told you are going to be blinded because everyone thinks it would be in your best interest. It isn’t going to work. There is no therapy that will make it work and preserve her sanity, unless frontal lobotomies are an option.

I am going to stop here for today. Why? Because I want everyone to have time to think about all of this before I the last entry. I don’t mean sitting around wallowing in disapproval and cracking “cosmic Britney” jokes. Britney and others like her, deserve better than that. Really think about what it would take to give up your true nature over and over again, and what the result would be. If you reach the thought,” well I would do that for my children” then you might re-evaluate your ability to empathize.

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I hope everyone’s holidays are simmering down into a comfortable glow, and that everyone has great aspirations for 2008!

During the next few months, I will move this blog to my site, Love Psychics And Sages, to enjoy the benefits and greater flexibility afforded by self hosting. I hope this also encourages more people to participate in discussions. Have no fear! This blog will not stagnate while I figure out how to move, which template to use, along with other decorating issues that I love so much.

If you are stuck for a good New Year’s resolution, try reading an article I wrote about this time last year, 10 Best New Year’s Resolutions. Take some time to look at life with a little twist, then write your own resolutions focusing on what you can have, not what you can deny yourself. Life is too short to ignore the wonderful pleasures that feed a sense of well being. Reward yourself for being the delightful human you are.

Take a moment for reverence and remember Benazir Bhutto, a freedom fighter in her own right, and hope the world realizes religious dogma reinforcing the oppression, abuse, and killings of women based on based on the notion that a deity mandates women’s subservience to men, must be eradicated. The future of the human race is in dire straits when civil societies are held hostage by the beliefs of fundamentalists, Muslim and Christian alike.

Don’t forget to rediscover your personal creativity. I am rekindling my crochet, beading, and jeweler’s skills for the sense of accomplishment I experience by creating my own style, from the heart.

Finally, work toward a greener lifestyle. The benefits for the earth are obvious, but the renewed self sufficiency is often overlooked. Imagine how your independence will grow as you use fewer commercial goods, where possible. Don’t go crazy with this, though. Composting toilets don’t have to be a fixture in your home! EEeeeyew!

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Keeping the interest flowing in your relationship require more thought than physical effort, but is also require we let go of some unhealthy notions about love!

Of all the greatest issues that face people today, keeping the life in a relationship is probably the most vexing and taxing. To keep that initial spark alive while coping with day to day issues is almost too much. There is a basic misconception that ends most relationships before they begin, much less flourish.

If we step back for a moment and really examine what hapens when things start going wrong, we see a common thread. Yes, it’s communication…but it’s not quite that simple. It’s the type of communication that makes all the difference in the world.

Most people think saying “I love you” on a regular basis should take care of things. For men, regular physical intimacy becomes a focus that doesn’t fulfill their needs for appreciation. For women, the flowers, chocolates and courtship behaviors just create more tension, especially if they are expensive. So, how do we bridge the gap and keep love alive?

Look around and what your spouse or long term beloved does for you on a daily basis. Not deep kisses and extended love making, but thngs like taking out the trash, washing the socks, taking care of the car-as long as it isn’t their hobby. It’s these little things that need a “Thank You” everyday. This shows that you are paying attention, that you value these chores and your not having to nag to have them completed. These little adffirmations also let your beloved know that you keep an eye on their moods, physical health, energy level, and well-being. This is the appreciation that men want. This is the effort that women need to see.

It is our daily life that we share with our spouse or long term beloved, and it is this day after day contact that creates “Forever”. It’s not the stuff of fairy tales, it’s not the unreasonable expectations used to make people buy rings and flowers and expensive meals. It is the deep seated observance that becomes a secular devotion, and the deepest, forever kind of love that we truly seek.

 

 

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