Is Jealousy a Learned Behavior?

The triumph over both positive and negative emotions.

One of my favorite blogs is idcheaters.com. Lively conversations erupt on relationship issues with an enthusiasm rarely found anywhere else.  The input also gets my wicked little wheels turning. One of the recent topics surrounds jealousy, of course, and the associated behaviors it inspires.

For all of the love professed in relationships, and all the expectations set forth for us by society and religion, people rarely analyze why jealousy is such a huge feature of our psyche.  Is it learned, or is it instinct?

Have you ever seen Mutiny on the Bounty, the version with Marlon Brando playing the part of Mr. Christian?

The Bounty drops anchor in the harbor of a Polynesian, I assume, island where the natives see sex as a great way to say hello.  If there was ever a Garden of Eden, these natives never left it.  The people are portrayed as happy, loving, and bereft of jealousies.  Sex is the extended handshake.

Yes, it is a movie, but it also reflects what some people believe is nature’s true intent.  Genetic diversity, accomplished through sex and childbearing with different partners, is good for the species.  Doesn’t jealousy work against that mandate?

As children we must learn to share because nature drives us to cling to adults for attention.  Otherwise, we may never be fed or clothed.  It is instinct, appropriate during a time of great dependency on adults, but we eventually learn that cooperation and sharing furthers not only personal causes and goals, but also improves our relationships with others in our tribe or family.  Based on this, jealousy must be a sign of immaturity, on one level, or the expression of the powerless and dependent at another level.

Readings Surrounding Jealousy

Where Tarot readings ferret out what has yet to happen, I prefer using Numerology for individuals questioning their own motives behind their jealousies.  We are often unable to completely remove our tendencies in this area, but knowing where they are in our personal birth numbers helps us weather those storms without destroying relationships that are otherwise fulfilling and productive.  Finding areas of “numerical balance” when jealousy might rear its ugly head, has been one of my personal tools for quite some time now.

If you are struggling with jealousy issues, consider taking a look at your partner’s birth numbers as well.  His or her birth numbers may reveal the traits that trigger conflicts with the jealousy you are experiencing.

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When He Cheats…..

The realization that a spouse is cheating is a terrible moment for any woman, regardless of her strength or age, and with or without young children in the home, the blow can strip the meaning from a relationship. Once the shock wears off, it is time to decide to stay, leave, or have him leave.

I came across a great clip, Should Women Stand By Cheaters?.

Notice, there is a woman on the discussion panel who is able to draw a distinction between a fellow’s looking for love and engaging in thrill seeking behavior?

One of the most difficult readings to do are those where the querent, usually the woman, cannot see the subject, usually the man, in the same light that the cards, or a numerology analysis for that matter, indicate.

Often, the cheating male hasn’t one emotional card, which would be something in the suit of cups, in the spread. When this can be worked through in the reading, meaning the querent understands that this act was not emotionally based for the cheater, moving on to the decision making process can be a bit less daunting. When I read for you, I won’t skip this step as many readers will.

Now that you have worked through the reading, should you stay?

There are many factors that I, as your reader, can see and feel during this second part of your reading. Your choices will be greater than you had thought. Let’s try to stick with those that are non-violent!

Save time, and money, with an e-mail reading today!

Even with a reader’s advice, which addresses the mental and emotional aspect of your past, present, and future, only you can analyze how a drastic change in your living circumstances will impact your finances and your plans for your future with your partner.  Take your time to weigh things carefully.  A new adventure awaits you, even if you decide to continue the relationship.

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Anger: Is getting “over it” really healthy?

Whether it is a cheating spouse or a difficult relative, many readings center around power issues that are difficult to grapple with when they needn’t be. What makes these issues difficult? The prohibition against extended anger.

The prohibition against extended anger isn’t talked about among men nearly as much as it is among women. In fact, women, in general, seem to fear anger that lingers past a few days.

Anger will eat you up eventually.

You need to let go of your anger.

Why keep drawing in such negative energy?

These are all those little warnings that you shouldn’t continue with anger with a situation or person. Far from being a comfort, the warnings serve to prevent the exercise of personal power, to insist on changes either with a situation or within yourself, to prevent the event from happening again. In other words, to keep you within the “well socialized woman” passive stance.

Granted, there are situations where expressing anger can lead to danger, but it is the form of the expression that is the problem, not the anger itself. So why is it so important, to some, that you “let go” of a necessary tool for survival?

You are less accessible and your anger reveals some unpleasant realities about life.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing for the angry person, but is frightening to those accustomed to your being emotionally available, and this should be a red flag. The concern being expressed over your anger isn’t based on your needs at all, but theirs. You are more aware of where your limits are and are ready to insist on their being respected. Very inconvenient for those who enjoy talking you into participating in conversations and activities that are not necessarily your cup of tea.

You a step outside of a shared mentality. You become an outsider to many, which is extremely important to people afraid to make the same sorts of changes in their own lives. You don’t seem nearly as safe when you start rearranging your life, using the anger as the catalyst for positive change. Denying and letting go of your anger might be the worst thing you can do to yourself, to make others more comfortable.

Embrace your anger. Explore the feelings and take the actions you deem necessary, as long as they are not violent, against others. Recreate your inner space by incorporating this new found knowledge. Raise your standards and expectations where needed and hold your head high.

It isn’t the anger you must fear, it is the absence of change.

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