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Keeping the interest flowing in your relationship require more thought than physical effort, but is also require we let go of some unhealthy notions about love!

Of all the greatest issues that face people today, keeping the life in a relationship is probably the most vexing and taxing. To keep that initial spark alive while coping with day to day issues is almost too much. There is a basic misconception that ends most relationships before they begin, much less flourish.

If we step back for a moment and really examine what hapens when things start going wrong, we see a common thread. Yes, it’s communication…but it’s not quite that simple. It’s the type of communication that makes all the difference in the world.

Most people think saying “I love you” on a regular basis should take care of things. For men, regular physical intimacy becomes a focus that doesn’t fulfill their needs for appreciation. For women, the flowers, chocolates and courtship behaviors just create more tension, especially if they are expensive. So, how do we bridge the gap and keep love alive?

Look around and what your spouse or long term beloved does for you on a daily basis. Not deep kisses and extended love making, but thngs like taking out the trash, washing the socks, taking care of the car-as long as it isn’t their hobby. It’s these little things that need a “Thank You” everyday. This shows that you are paying attention, that you value these chores and your not having to nag to have them completed. These little adffirmations also let your beloved know that you keep an eye on their moods, physical health, energy level, and well-being. This is the appreciation that men want. This is the effort that women need to see.

It is our daily life that we share with our spouse or long term beloved, and it is this day after day contact that creates “Forever”. It’s not the stuff of fairy tales, it’s not the unreasonable expectations used to make people buy rings and flowers and expensive meals. It is the deep seated observance that becomes a secular devotion, and the deepest, forever kind of love that we truly seek.



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My path to reading tarot cards began outside of books and far away from the Tarot-Waite deck most readers start with. There were several reasons but many still hold true for me.

The problems with Rider Waite is the abundance of yellow, and the insistence of some readers that the cards be read based on the race of the client. How does one accurately read when that particular prejudice is woven into the meanings of the cards? Such predetermination has no place in readings but there are still people being taught to use the cards with this set of blinders firmly strapped in place. There is no defense for this.

Needless to say, newer decks have been better for those of us who have issues with colors blocking sensitivity. Try looking at a picture with yellow scattered about and see if you can have any deep thoughts without becoming irritated or having to put the picture aside. The field of color taps directly into the subconscious where are deepest reactions and primal responses rest. Yellow works to poke at this area with a sharp stick, causing it to receded rather than come forth and spread its tendrils.

I can’t remember my first deck, but it wasn’t the traditional Rider Waite. I have enjoyed using decks by Scapini, I have used round cards, I have used several decks called “The Witches Tarot”-none of which looked just like the other. I have found that images with rounded edges, lacking harsh outlines, and having deep rich colors work best for me. They warm the psyche into playing along the energy streams, allowing me to see and feel clearly.

If you are looking for your first deck of cards you might be comfortable with the Rider Waite, but look at other decks to get the feel. It could be that you are better suited to something that strokes your primal self. Happiness is a warm deck of cards.

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This will remove any doubts about the goals of the Bush administration. I found this newsy little item while doing a bit of research and feel it is a “must read” for those who have felt things weren’t quite right with the country we live in. Here is an article from earlier in the Bush Whitehouse byt Rick Perlstein of THE VILLAGE VOICE. Enjoy!

The Jesus Landing Pad

Bush White House checked with rapture Christians before latest Israel move

by Rick Perlstein

It was an e-mail we weren’t meant to see. Not for our eyes were the notes that showed White House staffers taking two-hour meetings with Christian fundamentalists, where they passed off bogus social science on gay marriage as if it were holy writ and issued fiery warnings that “the Presidents [sic] Administration and current Government is engaged in cultural, economical, and social struggle on every level”—this to a group whose representative in Israel believed herself to have been attacked by witchcraft unleashed by proximity to a volume of Harry Potter. Most of all, apparently, we’re not supposed to know the National Security Council’s top Middle East aide consults with apocalyptic Christians eager to ensure American policy on Israel conforms with their sectarian doomsday scenarios.

But now we know.

“Everything that you’re discussing is information you’re not supposed to have,” barked Pentecostal minister Robert G. Upton when asked about the off-the-record briefing his delegation received on March 25. Details of that meeting appear in a confidential memo signed by Upton and obtained by the Voice.

The e-mailed meeting summary reveals NSC Near East and North African Affairs director Elliott Abrams sitting down with the Apostolic Congress and massaging their theological concerns. Claiming to be “the Christian Voice in the Nation’s Capital,” the members vociferously oppose the idea of a Palestinian state. They fear an Israeli withdrawal from Gaza might enable just that, and they object on the grounds that all of Old Testament Israel belongs to the Jews. Until Israel is intact and Solomon’s temple rebuilt, they believe, Christ won’t come back to earth.

Abrams attempted to assuage their concerns by stating that “the Gaza Strip had no significant Biblical influence such as Joseph’s tomb or Rachel’s tomb and therefore is a piece of land that can be sacrificed for the cause of peace.”

Three weeks after the confab, President George W. Bush reversed long-standing U.S. policy, endorsing Israeli sovereignty over parts of the West Bank in exchange for Israel’s disengagement from the Gaza Strip.

In an interview with the Voice, Upton denied having written the document, though it was sent out from an e-mail account of one of his staffers and bears the organization’s seal, which is nearly identical to the Great Seal of the United States. Its idiosyncratic grammar and punctuation tics also closely match those of texts on the Apostolic Congress’s website, and Upton verified key details it recounted, including the number of participants in the meeting (“45 ministers including wives”) and its conclusion “with a heart-moving send-off of the President in his Presidential helicopter.”

Upton refused to confirm further details.

Affiliated with the United Pentecostal Church, the Apostolic Congress is part of an important and disciplined political constituency courted by recent Republican administrations. As a subset of the broader Christian Zionist movement, it has a lengthy history of opposition to any proposal that will not result in what it calls a “one-state solution” in Israel.

The White House’s association with the congress, which has just posted a new staffer in Israel who may be running afoul of Israel’s strict anti-missionary laws, also raises diplomatic concerns.

The staffer, Kim Hadassah Johnson, wrote in a report obtained by the Voice, “We are establishing the Meet the Need Fund in Israel—’MNFI.’ . . . The fund will be an Interest Free Loan Fund that will enable us to loan funds to new believers (others upon application) who need assistance. They will have the opportunity to repay the loan (although it will not be mandatory).” When that language was read to Moshe Fox, minister for public and interreligious affairs at the Israeli Embassy in Washington, he responded, “It sounds against the law which prohibits any kind of money or material [inducement] to make people convert to another religion. That’s what it sounds like.” (Fox’s judgment was e-mailed to Johnson, who did not return a request for comment.)

The Apostolic Congress dates its origins to 1981, when, according to its website, “Brother Stan Wachtstetter was able to open the door to Apostolic Christians into the White House.” Apostolics, a sect of Pentecostals, claim legitimacy as the heirs of the original church because they, as the 12 apostles supposedly did, baptize converts in the name of Jesus, not in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Ronald Reagan bore theological affinities with such Christians because of his belief that the world would end in a fiery Armageddon. Reagan himself referenced this belief explicitly a half-dozen times during his presidency.

While the language of apocalyptic Christianity is absent from George W. Bush’s speeches, he has proven eager to work with apocalyptics—a point of pride for Upton. “We’re in constant contact with the White House,” he boasts. “I’m briefed at least once a week via telephone briefings. . . . I was there about two weeks ago . . . At that time we met with the president.”

Last spring, after President Bush announced his Road Map plan for peace in the Middle East, the Apostolic Congress co-sponsored an effort with the Jewish group Americans for a Safe Israel that placed billboards in 23 cities with a quotation from Genesis (“Unto thy offspring will I give this land”) and the message, “Pray that President Bush Honors God’s Covenant with Israel. Call the White House with this message.” It then provided the White House phone number and the Apostolic Congress’s Web address.

In the interview with the Voice, Pastor Upton claimed personal responsibility for directing 50,000 postcards to the White House opposing the Road Map, which aims to create a Palestinian state. “I’m in total disagreement with any form of Palestinian state,” Upton said. “Within a two-week period, getting 50,000 postcards saying the exact same thing from places all over the country, that resonated with the White House. That really caused [President Bush] to backpedal on the Road Map.”

When I sought to confirm Upton’s account of the meeting with the White House, I was directed to National Security Council spokesman Frederick Jones, whose initial response upon being read a list of the names of White House staffers present was a curt, “You know half the people you just mentioned are Jewish?”

When asked for comment on top White House staffers meeting with representatives of an organization that may be breaking Israeli law, Jones responded, “Why would the White House comment on that?”

When asked whose job it is in the administration to study the Bible to discern what parts of Israel were or weren’t acceptable sacrifices for peace, Jones said that his previous statements had been off-the-record.

When Pastor Upton was asked to explain why the group’s website describes the Apostolic Congress as “the Christian Voice in the nation’s capital,” instead of simply a Christian voice in the nation’s capital, he responded, “There has been a real lack of leadership in having someone emerge as a Christian voice, someone who doesn’t speak for the right, someone who doesn’t speak for the left, but someone who speaks for the people, and someone who speaks from a theocratical perspective.”

When his words were repeated back to him to make sure he had said a “theocratical” perspective, not a “theological” perspective, he said, “Exactly. Exactly. We want to know what God would have us say or what God would have us do in every issue.”

The Middle East was not the only issue discussed at the March 25 meeting. James Wilkinson, deputy national security advisor for communications, spoke first and is characterized as stating that the 9-11 Commission “is portraying those who have given their all to protect this nation as ‘weak on terrorism,’ ” that “99 percent of all the men and women protecting us in this fight against terrorism are career citizens,” and offered the example of Frances Town-send, deputy national security adviser for combating terrorism, “who sacrificed Christmas to do a ‘security video’ conference.”

Tim Goeglein, deputy director of public liaison and the White House’s point man with evangelical Christians, moderated, and he also spoke on the issue of same-sex marriage. According to the memo, he asked the rhetorical questions: “What will happen to our country if that actually happens? What do those pushing such hope to gain?” His answer: “They want to change America.” How so? He quoted the research of Hoover Institute senior fellow Stanley Kurtz, who holds that since gay marriage was legalized in Scandinavia, marriage itself has virtually ceased to exist. (In fact, since Sweden instituted a registered-partnership law for same-sex couples in the mid ’90s, there has been no overall change in the marriage and divorce rates there.)

It is Matt Schlapp, White House political director and Karl Rove’s chief lieutenant, who was paraphrased as stating “that the Presidents Administration and current Government is engaged in cultural, economical, and social struggle on every level.”

Also present at the meeting was Kristen Silverberg, deputy assistant to the president for domestic policy. (None of the participants responded to interview requests.)

The meeting was closed by Goeglein, who was asked, “What can we do to assist in this fight for these issues and our nations [sic] foundation and values?” and who reportedly responded, “Pray, pray, pray, pray.”

The Apostolic Congress’s representative in Israel, Kim Johnson, is ethnically Jewish, keeps kosher, and holds herself to the sumptuary standards of Orthodox Jewish women, so as to better blend in to her surroundings.

In one letter home obtained by the Voice she notes that many of the Apostolic Christians she works with in Israel are Filipino women “married to Jewish men—who on occasion accompany their wives to meetings. We are planning to start a fellowship with this select group where we can meet for dinners and get to know one another. Please Pray for the timing and formation of such.” Elsewhere she talks of a discussion with someone “on the pitfalls and aggravations of Christians who missionize Jews.” She works often among the Jewish poor—the kind of people who might be interested in interest-free loans—and is thrilled to “meet the outcasts of this Land—how wonderful because they are in the in-casts for His Kingdom.”

An ecstatic figure who from her own reports appears to operate at the edge of sanity (“Two of the three nights in my apartment I have been attacked by a hair raising spirit of fear,” she writes, noting the sublet contained a Harry Potter book; “at this time I am associating it with witchcraft”), Johnson has also met with Knesset member Gila Gamliel. (Gamliel did not respond to interview requests.) She also boasted of an imminent meeting with a “Knesset leader.”

“At this point and for all future mails it is important for me to note that this country has very stiff anti-missionary laws,” she warns the followers back home. [D]iscretion is required in all mails. This is particularly important to understand when people write mails or ask about organization efforts regarding such.”

Her boss, Pastor Upton, displays a photograph on the Apostolic Congress website of a meeting between himself and Beny Elon, Prime Minister Sharon’s tourism minister, famous in Israel for his advocacy of the expulsion of Palestinians from Israeli-controlled lands.

His spokesman in the U.S., Ronn Torassian, affirmed that “Minister Elon knows Mr. Upton well,” but when asked whether he is aware that Mr. Upton’s staffer may be breaking Israel’s anti-missionary laws, snapped: “It’s not something he’s interested in discussing with The Village Voice.”

In addition to its work in Israel, the Apostolic Congress is part of the increasingly Christian public face of pro-Israel activities in the United States. Don Wagner, author of the book Anxious for Armageddon, has been studying Christian Zionism for 15 years, and believes that the current hard-line pro-Israel movement in the U.S. is “predominantly gentile.” Often, devotees work in concert with Jewish groups like Americans for a Safe Israel, or AFSI, which set up a mostly Christian Committee for a One-State Solution as the sponsor of last year’s billboard campaign. The committee’s board included, in addition to Upton, such evangelical luminaries as Gary Bauer and E.E. “Ed” McAteer of the Religious Roundtable.

AFSI’s executive director, Helen Freedman, confirms the increasingly Christian cast of her coalition. “We have many good Jews, of course,” she says, “but they’re in the minority.” She adds, “The liberal Jew is unable to believe the Arab when he says his goal is to Islamize the West. . . . But I believe it. And evangelical Christians believe it.”

Of Jews who might otherwise support her group’s view of Jews’ divine right to Israel, she laments, “They’re embarrassed about quoting the Bible, about referring to the Covenant, about talking about the Promised Land.”

Pastor Upton is not embarrassed, and Helen Freedman is proud of her association with him. She is wistful when asked if she, like Upton, has been able to finagle a meeting with the president. “Pastor Upton is the head of a whole Apostolic Congress,” she laments. “It’s a nationwide group of evangelicals.”

Upton has something Freedman covets: a voting bloc.

She laughs off concerns that, for Christian Zionists, actual Jews living in Israel serve as mere props for their end-time scenario: “We have a different conception of what [the end of the world] will be like . . . Whoever is right will rejoice, and whoever was wrong will say, ‘Whoops!’ ”

She’s not worried, either, about evangelical anti-Semitism: “I don’t think it exists,” she says. She does say, however, that it would concern her if she learned the Apostolic Congress had a representative in Israel trying to win converts: “If we discovered that people were trying to convert Jews to Christianity, we would be very upset.”

Kim Johnson doesn’t call it converting Jews to Christianity. She calls it “Circumcision of the Heart”—a spiritual circumcision Jews must undergo because, she writes in paraphrase of Jeremiah, chapter 9, “God will destroy all the uncircumcised nations along with the House of Israel, because the House of Israel is uncircumcised in the heart . . . [I]t is through the Gospel . . . that men’s hearts are circumcised.”

Apostolics believe that only 144,000 Jews who have not, prior to the Second Coming of Christ, acknowledged Jesus as the Messiah will be saved in the end times. Though even for those who do not believe in this literal interpretation of the Bible—or for anyone who lives in Israel, or who cares about Israel, or whose security might be affected by a widespread conflagration in the Middle East, which is everyone—the scriptural prophecies of the Christian Zionists should be the least of their worries.

Instead, we should be worried about self-fulfilling prophecies. “Biblically,” stated one South Carolina minister in support of the anti-Road Map billboard campaign, “there’s always going to be a war.”

Don Wagner, an evangelical, worries that in the Republican Party, people who believe this “are dominating the discourse now, in an election year.” He calls the attempt to yoke Scripture to current events “a modern heresy, with cultish proportions.

“I mean, it’s appalling,” he rails on. “And it also shows how marginalized mainstream Christian thinking, and the majority of evangelical thought, have become.”

It demonstrates, he says, “the absolute convergence of the neoconservatives with the Christian Zionists and the pro-Israel lobby, driving U.S. Mideast policy.”

The problem is not that George W. Bush is discussing policy with people who press right-wing solutions to achieve peace in the Middle East, or with devout Christians. It is that he is discussing policy with Christians who might not care about peace at all—at least until the rapture.

The Jewish pro-Israel lobby, in the interests of peace for those living in the present, might want to consider a disengagement. <!–

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Part 3: The Cheater

This is Part 3 .  Remember, I am speaking from a reader’s stand point and am not a professional in the psychological or medical arts.  These posts are illustrations of  a set of reading types, and where personal power has to be inserted for change to take place in the client’s life.

The Cheater is, quite often, assumed to be the same mind set as The Never Ending Affair.  There is, however, a critical difference.  The Never Ending Affair is actually an ongoing relationship.  The Cheater is generally a little more dangerous, because they will act on impulse more often than not, and use excuses for the "momentary lapse".

I had a client years ago who’s husband fell under this difficult category. She had suffered for his impulsiveness emotionally – she could never be certain that he was truthful – and physically as she had contracted frightening, but treatable, STD’s over several years.  Her tarot readings were fraught with emotional turmoil and repeating cycles.  She just couldn’t break free of her circumstances. This was a case of the soul mate being almost her worst enemy.  I was able to convince her that deeper psychological counseling was needed for her to discover what needs the relationship fulfilled and if they were based on childhood abuse, which was very possible.

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The Cheater will follow impulses before thinking of consequences which can include passing on STD’s, humiliating their spouse, and unplanned pregnancies outside of the marital relationship. Most "pick up" people for sexual encounters on what appears to be the spur of the moment, but many have a cycle of behaviors, much like an abusive spouse.  They are calm and reasonable for a period of time, then tensions build and they may become argumentative and unreasonable.  When they can no longer stand the tension, they act out by finding  men, or women, for strictly sexual activity but there are those who return to the same person over and over again for that release if the price is right.  Most prefer to pay for the experience because the exchange of money prevents other expectations from developing.

Tarot Readings like this are heart wrenching for the reader.  If we could whisk a client away and infuse their existence with positive energy and healing, we would, but this healing must come from within.  An ethical tarot reader should never hesitate in directing a client toward medical intervention when it is obviously called for.  When doing phone or email readings, most ethical readers will have a set of 800 numbers on hand and encourage the distressed client in accessing these services for relief.

Tarot and Psychic Readers are not miracle workers.  When clients have these or other entrenched patterns, they come to the surface in the tarot or psychic  reading first, and almost block out anything else.  During a tarot or psychic reading the pattern asserts itself  in other areas of  life, indicating the application of  personal responsibility and power is the next step that must be taken, but has yet to begin.  Often I will see a  9 or 10 in  several suits in several spreads during a reading, and those particular tarot cards  will be reversed,  meaning the energy or progress  is being blocked.  Each reader chooses how to handle this energy in their own way.  I have known readers who simply do not read reversed cards so that the client never gets the information that might change their path. 

Eventually everyone becomes conscious of the situations that make them feel helpless and take steps to end them.  There is no client who isn’t helped by knowing that there is something grinding away in their relationship that is probably influencing other life issues!

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Part 2: The Absent Ex

In Part 1, we strolled through the painful problems associate with readings for clients who cannot embrace the reality of their circumstances.  Affairs drag on with promise after promise preventing a patient lover’s striking out on a new path that is centered on their need to be first and for most in their primary relationship, which secondary for the philandering fellow, even though the roles may be reversed.

Curiosity or hopes of cosmic retribution are often, but not always, associated with part 2, The Absent Ex.

In our lonely moments our minds wander over past experiences.  The more painful or insulting the experience, the more likely we are to dwell on it because it will never be finished to our satisfaction.  This is particularly vexing when the seasons change from summer to fall.  Signs of earthly growth in the form of plants, along with days getting shorter once more, bring on an almost prophetic bout of reappraisal. The fruits of  emotional seeds sown during times of plenty are now harvested and weighed.  The worst moments are when we realize that we were treated badly.

Readings of this nature tend to ask whether the offending party is suffering also. Do they regret the relationship’s end?  Will they ever realize they made a terrible mistake?  Will they return, exhibiting the desired amount of  contrition?

I have yet to read a situation like this where the ex doesn’t regret what happened.  The client’s instincts are running quite high and their sensitivity should be taken seriously, even if the divinatory tools show the ex will not return.  The regret shines through.  The client is ready to move on and usually, within a week of the reading, the client will contact me to say that, to their amazement, the absent ex is attempting reconciliation.  Fortunately, the client has moved on and the influence that the ex had at one time, is gone.

Something important has happened.  The client has reclaimed his or her personal power, which makes the reading much sweeter for both of us.

Don’t hesitate to ask for insight as you ruminate over those absent ex’s.  The added energy of the reading is the affirmation that pushes you into the next cycle of personal growth.

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This is the first of 3 articles addressing personal responsibility and psychic readings. Give it thought, and enjoy! There are situations where change is the only answer, and the psychic reading is being used as a form of denial.

The never ending affair…… Your lover has other commitments that can only be removed through divorce. They tell you they love you, cannot live without you, then ask you to be patient, and make it up to you with love making or a small gift. This is the worst sort of use anyone can subject themselves to. A psychic reading isn’t the answer even though many in this position have several on the same issue. Most good psychics can sense there is a distant marriage as soon as the client says their birthday, if the reading is in person or over the phone. There is something about the energy in the voice, I believe, but everyone has their own theories. Maybe it is the way their breath leaves their lips. What ever the reason, the psychic will probably not give them the answer they want to hear, which is the answer that runs contrary to logic and human nature. The longer the affair has been going, the more likely there will be no divorce and your lover will tell the same stories over and over again, to keep you available.

Why do some readers say the affair will lead to the divorce of the current spouse and then the marriage that is dreamt of?  Because they are afraid. One of the downfalls of using some of the online platforms to do psychic readings is the rating system. Most sites have them, and upset clients can end the flow of new clients by giving a low rating and venting their anger, even though the reading was accurate. Every once in a b’zillion years, the married lover actually goes through with divorce and marries the person they cheated with, only to cheat on them in less than a year. Again, clients don’t like hearing that. Truth is difficult for those who, realizing they are being used as a receptacle, want a psychic to tell them they are mistaken and their lover will soon be their spouse. They don’t want to change, but must. When a relationship like this sort spawns the need for a reading, it’s time to end the affair. Remove avenues of access for the lover, get back to those hobbies and goals that are truly their own is the best hope and therapy for someone who has been used unfairly, with the word "love" being the Pavlovian trigger for surrender. They should have a reading about the trip they will take next summer.

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Part 2: The Absent Ex

Part 3: The Cheater

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The “Either/Or” Trap

There is nothing that will bring a halt to development faster than limiting one’s possibilities.

During my 20 some odd years of doing readings and advising people in need, some of the same thought patterns present themselves with astonishing frequency. One of them is the “either/or” approach to relationships. Either the other person loves me, or they do not. Either the relationship is going to “lead to something”, or it is not. Either we are in a relationship, or we are not. These are the narrow paths that become the ruts that repeat cycles of unfulfilled yearnings that lead to desperate mistakes.

If there is one thing that I can say to make things better, it’s this: Stop being so hard on yourselves.

We are not “either/or” creatures at birth. We add and layer many aspects of our physical and emotional abilities in every other area but the love life, where limits are pushed upon us by issues that are not our own. They come from the worlds of religion, superstition, economics, and social stratification. Our truest selves can love on many levels and can adapt in many ways that are stripped from our emotional repertoire through years on indoctrination. We are trained to be emotional misers.

Generosity nurtures growth, not restriction. The healthy relationship has its ups and downs, but in the world of “either / or”, we are happy or we are not, which effectively shuts down growth by restricting our ideas of a healthy relationship to times when things are perfectly romantic and on the up swing. Generosity allows for periods of distance with periods of closeness and holds each moment as part of a well rounded whole, not a signal that something is terribly wrong.

During those moments when you feel yourself falling into the “either/ or” trap, take a moment to reflect on the overall balance of your relationship. Be more generous with yourself and the other humans you love dearly, in whatever way that love is expressed. Broaden your path of acceptance and embrace the love you have.

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