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Archive for the ‘advice’ Category

The realization that a spouse is cheating is a terrible moment for any woman, regardless of her strength or age, and with or without young children in the home, the blow can strip the meaning from a relationship. Once the shock wears off, it is time to decide to stay, leave, or have him leave.

I came across a great clip, Should Women Stand By Cheaters?.

Notice, there is a woman on the discussion panel who is able to draw a distinction between a fellow’s looking for love and engaging in thrill seeking behavior?

One of the most difficult readings to do are those where the querent, usually the woman, cannot see the subject, usually the man, in the same light that the cards, or a numerology analysis for that matter, indicate.

Often, the cheating male hasn’t one emotional card, which would be something in the suit of cups, in the spread. When this can be worked through in the reading, meaning the querent understands that this act was not emotionally based for the cheater, moving on to the decision making process can be a bit less daunting. When I read for you, I won’t skip this step as many readers will.

Now that you have worked through the reading, should you stay?

There are many factors that I, as your reader, can see and feel during this second part of your reading. Your choices will be greater than you had thought. Let’s try to stick with those that are non-violent!

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Even with a reader’s advice, which addresses the mental and emotional aspect of your past, present, and future, only you can analyze how a drastic change in your living circumstances will impact your finances and your plans for your future with your partner.  Take your time to weigh things carefully.  A new adventure awaits you, even if you decide to continue the relationship.

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Whether it is a cheating spouse or a difficult relative, many readings center around power issues that are difficult to grapple with when they needn’t be. What makes these issues difficult? The prohibition against extended anger.

The prohibition against extended anger isn’t talked about among men nearly as much as it is among women. In fact, women, in general, seem to fear anger that lingers past a few days.

Anger will eat you up eventually.

You need to let go of your anger.

Why keep drawing in such negative energy?

These are all those little warnings that you shouldn’t continue with anger with a situation or person. Far from being a comfort, the warnings serve to prevent the exercise of personal power, to insist on changes either with a situation or within yourself, to prevent the event from happening again. In other words, to keep you within the “well socialized woman” passive stance.

Granted, there are situations where expressing anger can lead to danger, but it is the form of the expression that is the problem, not the anger itself. So why is it so important, to some, that you “let go” of a necessary tool for survival?

You are less accessible and your anger reveals some unpleasant realities about life.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing for the angry person, but is frightening to those accustomed to your being emotionally available, and this should be a red flag. The concern being expressed over your anger isn’t based on your needs at all, but theirs. You are more aware of where your limits are and are ready to insist on their being respected. Very inconvenient for those who enjoy talking you into participating in conversations and activities that are not necessarily your cup of tea.

You a step outside of a shared mentality. You become an outsider to many, which is extremely important to people afraid to make the same sorts of changes in their own lives. You don’t seem nearly as safe when you start rearranging your life, using the anger as the catalyst for positive change. Denying and letting go of your anger might be the worst thing you can do to yourself, to make others more comfortable.

Embrace your anger. Explore the feelings and take the actions you deem necessary, as long as they are not violent, against others. Recreate your inner space by incorporating this new found knowledge. Raise your standards and expectations where needed and hold your head high.

It isn’t the anger you must fear, it is the absence of change.

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