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Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

The triumph over both positive and negative emotions.
The triumph over both positive and negative emotions.

One of my favorite blogs is idcheaters.com. Lively conversations erupt on relationship issues with an enthusiasm rarely found anywhere else.  The input also gets my wicked little wheels turning. One of the recent topics surrounds jealousy, of course, and the associated behaviors it inspires.

For all of the love professed in relationships, and all the expectations set forth for us by society and religion, people rarely analyze why jealousy is such a huge feature of our psyche.  Is it learned, or is it instinct?

Have you ever seen Mutiny on the Bounty, the version with Marlon Brando playing the part of Mr. Christian?

The Bounty drops anchor in the harbor of a Polynesian, I assume, island where the natives see sex as a great way to say hello.  If there was ever a Garden of Eden, these natives never left it.  The people are portrayed as happy, loving, and bereft of jealousies.  Sex is the extended handshake.

Yes, it is a movie, but it also reflects what some people believe is nature’s true intent.  Genetic diversity, accomplished through sex and childbearing with different partners, is good for the species.  Doesn’t jealousy work against that mandate?

As children we must learn to share because nature drives us to cling to adults for attention.  Otherwise, we may never be fed or clothed.  It is instinct, appropriate during a time of great dependency on adults, but we eventually learn that cooperation and sharing furthers not only personal causes and goals, but also improves our relationships with others in our tribe or family.  Based on this, jealousy must be a sign of immaturity, on one level, or the expression of the powerless and dependent at another level.

Readings Surrounding Jealousy

Where Tarot readings ferret out what has yet to happen, I prefer using Numerology for individuals questioning their own motives behind their jealousies.  We are often unable to completely remove our tendencies in this area, but knowing where they are in our personal birth numbers helps us weather those storms without destroying relationships that are otherwise fulfilling and productive.  Finding areas of “numerical balance” when jealousy might rear its ugly head, has been one of my personal tools for quite some time now.

If you are struggling with jealousy issues, consider taking a look at your partner’s birth numbers as well.  His or her birth numbers may reveal the traits that trigger conflicts with the jealousy you are experiencing.


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The realization that a spouse is cheating is a terrible moment for any woman, regardless of her strength or age, and with or without young children in the home, the blow can strip the meaning from a relationship. Once the shock wears off, it is time to decide to stay, leave, or have him leave.

I came across a great clip, Should Women Stand By Cheaters?.

Notice, there is a woman on the discussion panel who is able to draw a distinction between a fellow’s looking for love and engaging in thrill seeking behavior?

One of the most difficult readings to do are those where the querent, usually the woman, cannot see the subject, usually the man, in the same light that the cards, or a numerology analysis for that matter, indicate.

Often, the cheating male hasn’t one emotional card, which would be something in the suit of cups, in the spread. When this can be worked through in the reading, meaning the querent understands that this act was not emotionally based for the cheater, moving on to the decision making process can be a bit less daunting. When I read for you, I won’t skip this step as many readers will.

Now that you have worked through the reading, should you stay?

There are many factors that I, as your reader, can see and feel during this second part of your reading. Your choices will be greater than you had thought. Let’s try to stick with those that are non-violent!

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Even with a reader’s advice, which addresses the mental and emotional aspect of your past, present, and future, only you can analyze how a drastic change in your living circumstances will impact your finances and your plans for your future with your partner.  Take your time to weigh things carefully.  A new adventure awaits you, even if you decide to continue the relationship.

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Keeping the interest flowing in your relationship require more thought than physical effort, but is also require we let go of some unhealthy notions about love!

Of all the greatest issues that face people today, keeping the life in a relationship is probably the most vexing and taxing. To keep that initial spark alive while coping with day to day issues is almost too much. There is a basic misconception that ends most relationships before they begin, much less flourish.

If we step back for a moment and really examine what hapens when things start going wrong, we see a common thread. Yes, it’s communication…but it’s not quite that simple. It’s the type of communication that makes all the difference in the world.

Most people think saying “I love you” on a regular basis should take care of things. For men, regular physical intimacy becomes a focus that doesn’t fulfill their needs for appreciation. For women, the flowers, chocolates and courtship behaviors just create more tension, especially if they are expensive. So, how do we bridge the gap and keep love alive?

Look around and what your spouse or long term beloved does for you on a daily basis. Not deep kisses and extended love making, but thngs like taking out the trash, washing the socks, taking care of the car-as long as it isn’t their hobby. It’s these little things that need a “Thank You” everyday. This shows that you are paying attention, that you value these chores and your not having to nag to have them completed. These little adffirmations also let your beloved know that you keep an eye on their moods, physical health, energy level, and well-being. This is the appreciation that men want. This is the effort that women need to see.

It is our daily life that we share with our spouse or long term beloved, and it is this day after day contact that creates “Forever”. It’s not the stuff of fairy tales, it’s not the unreasonable expectations used to make people buy rings and flowers and expensive meals. It is the deep seated observance that becomes a secular devotion, and the deepest, forever kind of love that we truly seek.

 

 

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